One of the most unrecognized causes of stress is living a lie. Living a lie is living a life that you aren’t thrilled and overjoyed about. That is what we are taught to expect. We are taught that life is a struggle with moments of joy, if we are lucky. You beat yourself up whenever you fall off the wagon of doing enough or doing what is “right”.
When you live your authentic life as the person you truly are then life becomes a joy. Life flows without effort and you are thrilled with it most of the time. The rest of the time is relaxation and appreciation. It doesn’t mean you don’t do “enough” or what is “right” but rather what you do happens without effort. What is right for you is completely unique to you and when you are connected to who you are what you do is also right for all.
What does it mean to be authentic? The definition of authentic is genuine, real, not copied or faked. Most of us live our lives doing what others tell us are appropriate or right or realistic and safe. In other words copying other people’s lives and faking our enjoyment of it. We have been conditioned to believe any impulse that falls off the grid of normal is to be squashed or controlled or ignored.
How would your life be different if you found yourself doing what you love to do with people you enjoy? How would your life be different if you found that you are different from everyone else and that everyone else is attracted to you and your differences and celebrate them?
You will always find people that you share common ground with but in truth even those come with differences. It is a beautiful thing to enjoy. In your enjoyment of yourself you will find others that enjoy you and themselves more fully.
We are taught from early on to follow the rules, color inside the lines and fulfill our “obligations” and yet the most successful and happiest people are those that have found a way to ignore all of that education and follow their heart and soul. For many of us this education is so deeply rooted that we have lost who we are.
How does one get their authentic self back? The first issue that gets in the way of being authentic is our fear of disapproval. The funny thing is that we have become the first and sometimes only person who disapproves of our behavior. We are our worst critics. We allow others to do whatever they want without much thought because we are too busy comparing and criticizing ourselves.
Getting rid of your fear of disapproval is simply just about eliminating judgment and changing your inner dialogue. Be kind to yourself. Speak words of encouragement to yourself. Cultivate a feeling of true love for yourself. You can find ways to do all of that in my book “The Teflon Self” but there are many ways to do it.
In fact the moment you decide you want to live differently and want to find a way to do it the universe will conspire to get you the information. It really is that easy.
The other issue that rears its scary head is the fear of change. When you truly think about your fear of change logically you will find yourself laughing. The only constant in life is change so why not take the wheel and drive the change in your life where you want it instead of letting others steer your life. Even better just let go and follow your heart and soul where it takes you.
As often as possible go where you want to go, be with who you want to be with, do what you want to do. If you can’t do it yet, then fantasize about it. Put yourself in the picture instead of watching a movie of you doing it. Make it real with feelings and smells and touch and sound if you can.
Eliminate as many obligations that aren’t fun. Sounds selfish but it is a life and death issue. Every moment you spend doing something you don’t want to do is detrimental to your health. Trust me the world will continue to spin on its axis if you don’t go to one more shower, or dinner party with people you don’t enjoy.
Experiment with life and try new things or redo old things. Be patient with yourself and don’t be afraid to make mistakes. Some of the most famous and successful people got there because of their mistakes. It is all in perfect order. Your only guide through it all is does this feel good. If it doesn’t then don’t do it unless of course it doesn’t because you are beating up on yourself.
Then more attention to loving yourself unconditionally is in order. We are all equal and magnificent and nothing you do or don’t do can change that. This frees you to just do what you want without the need for accomplishment to feel good about yourself. Believe me you will accomplish more because of that attitude but it will flow easily and be exhilarating.
You are a spectacular, magnificent, unlimited and eternal being and you are the only one of your kind.