Learning to love yourself, the steps are not in order and do as many as you can when you can:
1) Self talk: become aware of how you talk about and to yourself and change it. reword it to supportive and positive.
ie: “I am a total fuck up and can’t get my act together”
would be changed to
“Everyone makes mistakes and I am learning and if I take it step by step I will find my way to thinking better thoughts so I don’t make the kind of mistakes I made before and I know beating myself up about my mistakes will only cause me to make more of them. I am a good person and I have good intentions for the most part. All the people involved are strong deep down and can handle things and are equally a part of the creation of events so I don’t have to feel so bad. We are all learning and I know I will get better at this, maybe I don’t know how quite yet but I also know that if I have the intention the way will come in some form.”
It is a habit that you have developed to berate yourself, your external words and internal words are powerful…takes about a month of constant surveillance to break the habit. Do not say negative things about yourself in any way and when you do catch yourself and reword it. You are not a fuck up, you are an amazing man who is not using your creative power in the right direction, that is all.
2) Imagine how you feel when you love something deeply and then feel it, then direct it at yourself as if you were separate person for this ego person is not the real you, it is just a part of the whole who thinks he is separate and alone and is disconnected from his divine self…Your divine self adores and loves you unconditionally, no matter what you do. It is really you and understands that you only got disconnected and it is only for a short time even if you stay disconnected for your entire life.
3) Look in the mirror and tell yourself good things …I love you, you are amazing, strong, capable, and all is well
or whatever you can that is positive, even if you don’t believe it just keep doing it daily
4) Have an affirmation that is positive and inspires you memorized and recite it often and especially when you are feeling negative…mine is “I am love, I am light, I am peace, I am health, I am beauty, I am passion, I am power and abundance.”
5) Again all negative emotion is always about being disconnected from your truth which is that you are magnificent, unlimited and spectacularly unique and eternal…all others are that as well…you can’t have the connection for yourself without knowing it for all others. So when you have a negative emotion, honor it, look within for the misguided belief, insecurity, judgment and reword it in your mind.
ie: “That person makes me angry when he doesn’t do his job correctly and then I end up having to pull his weight and mine.”
“I am choosing to feel angry and taken advantage of and I honor that emotion but know I have chosen it. What within me allows for me to choose this emotion. Well I feel that I am powerless to change this circumstance but I know that if I can find a way to make the best of this that a way to change it will happen. I am worthy of good things and they will come. This person must be much more unhappy if he can’t so his work and probably doesn’t feel very good about himself, at least i feel good about myself so maybe I should lighten up. I want to feel good and not paying attention to this aspect of work feels much better and enjoy the other people and much of the things I do at work. Finding things I like about people feels pretty good and this person does have some good qualities, maybe if I focus on that things will change but at least if they don’t I will feel better and that is very good thing.”
As you take the negative energy and do this kind of discussion with yourself it usually takes the edge off and if you keep doing it you will get to a point that you get rid of your triggers completely….at least the old triggers …there will always be times in life to do this kind of work on a deeper level but it gets easier. You will find things that used to immediately cause you anger or irritation or discomfort no longer get the knee jerk reaction.