Out of all the things in this world that we have trouble with, relationships are probably the most prominent. When you think about it, even finances and work are relationship driven.
There is truly only one thing that gets in our way and that is that we have forgotten who we are and in forgetting that we also forget who everyone else is. We have forgotten our true magnificent and unlimited power. We have forgotten that we have the absolute freedom to be who we are, in fact being authentically who we are is the only way to improve our own life and the life of everyone else. We have forgotten that we are the writer, director and lead actor/actress of our particular drama and as such we can rewrite, redirect and play it a different way.
We have been trained to try to control others behavior with our negative emotions: hurt, anger, disappointment, judgment and frustration to name a few. If you would be honest this approach never works and if it does it erodes the foundation of your relationship or the issue manifests in some other area of your life. You can’t run from your own creation and make it different from the actors perspective. You have to get to your writer and director inside if you want to truly change the drama.
If your writer has been allowing other people to write for him, chances are you are just reenacting old worn out dramas of hurt and betrayal and anger and not getting exactly what you want and being told that this is life, get used to it. If you are letting your director follow what is commonly done the you are getting angry, hurt, sullen, frustrated and you really know how to pull those emotions off with flare. I am suggesting you do your own writing and directing and you will find that the need for those emotions will be so much less. That is if you want less of that kind of thing. I prefer to be excited, passionate, so deeply moved tears well up in my eyes, appreciative, in awe. My actor has those down pat and the opportunity for expression often.
That is because my writer is my authentic me. It knows that I am powerful and magnificent and unlimited. Sometimes it defaults to old writing and an old worn out scene will happen. The director and Actor part notices right away because what happens in my life if unpleasant but now we all know where the source is.
I don’t blame the person who was hurtful or angry or frustrated and I don’t try to change that person or get them to “act” another way. I know this is futile. I know I have to go to my writer and say “WTH are you writing this for again. I thought we had this discussion and I am having a different experience now. I know I am not responsible for someone else feeling their connection to their own magnificence. I can’t be their sunshine without undermining their own experience. They have to find their own and the best thing I can do for them is be me without guilt or worry. I also know when I am purely me without worry or guilt they will respond in the play of life exactly how I want to experience it or they will leave the play.”
Then I work on reconnecting to my own true self and finding the beauty and appreciation of this very moment to enjoy and thereis always beauty in every moment and something to be appreciative for.
All the hurt feelings, blame, anger and even discussion about all of that is counterproductive. I know it goes against every counselor, every relationship book about “making it work” but honestly that kind of stuff is like putting a mask on the real issue and trying to make the mask the real deal. It also makes the issue real when it really isn’t. It is a symptom of your own disconnection from your truth and nothing more. The issue goes completely away when you remember who you are and once the issue is gone the actors involved in the issue must change their role or leave the play. It is without exception.
Enjoy knowing you are magnificent and amazing and more than you ever dreamed you were and life will flow the way you want it too.